If you’re wishing to get pregnant and your boyfriend isn’t onboard with the prospect of parenthood, you may be thinking about ways to get pregnant without your boyfriend knowing. From the standpoint of the health of your relationship, this is a plan you should think long and hard about before undertaking it. Not only is it a substantial act of deception in a relationship where you might prefer trust, but it also puts you in the position of parenting with a partner who may not be a willing participant in the challenges of parenthood. You should ask yourself whether you’re willing to risk this relationship, because that may be precisely what you will be doing if you decide to get pregnant without your boyfriend knowing. You may lose your boyfriend because he’s unwilling to deal with the changed relationship when it involves a baby, or you may lose your boyfriend if he finds out about your deception and decides he can’t trust you. There’s also, of course, the possibility that he will fall in love with fatherhood—and his offspring—but if you’re making the unilateral decision to get pregnant without his knowledge, you can’t count on that being the outcome.
If you’re determined to go ahead with the project, you’ll need to think about the practicalities of getting pregnant without your boyfriend knowing. The most basic component of this plan, of course, is birth control—or, more precisely, getting away from birth control. Depending on what method you and your boyfriend use, this can be accomplished by some deceitful maneuvering on your part. The most difficult form of birth control to get around is the condom. If your boyfriend always insists on a condom (which may be the case if he’s adamant about not getting
you pregnant) you need to figure out how to fool the condom, or convince him to put them aside. You can sabotage the condoms themselves by poking a needle through them, but this is unlikely to be as effective as you would like. A hole in the condom that’s small enough to stay unnoticed isn’t going to let a high volume of semen through. (Of course, it only takes one sperm—but the chance of conceiving increases with the number of sperm cells that have a shot at fertilizing the egg.) You also face the risk of your boyfriend noticing the leak and getting paranoid about condoms—and possibly about you as well.
Better ways to get pregnant without your boyfriend knowing may be to convince your boyfriend that the condoms are unnecessary, which you are most likely to be able to achieve if you convince him that you’re using a “foolproof” form of birth control like the three-month birth control shot, or an implanted ring or IUD. He may be wary of the Pill (because of the chance that you might forget a dose), but if he can be convinced that you’re using one of these other methods, he may be willing to set aside the condoms. So long as he doesn’t require actual proof of your birth control method, you can be entirely off birth control while letting him think you’re using it. Of all the possible ways to get pregnant without your boyfriend knowing, this is the most likely to succeed. If he thinks it’s impossible to get you pregnant you can quietly monitor your cycle and have sex at your most fertile times, entirely unprotected. Just be ready to act surprised when you end up pregnant as a result.